PirateBallerina

CNews 11March10

2010-03-11T11:12:00-05:00

From our Is There Something They're Not Telling Us? department (via Drudge)
Our favorite line: "[these] are designated as the only shotguns authorized for [the US Department of Education (ED)] based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts."

CNews 3March10

2010-03-03T14:46:00-05:00

One of our jackbooted thugs directs our attention to an important new book that will surely and at long last rip the lid off Amerikkka's disgusting and arrogant exceptionalism; from NYU Press, Meeting The Enemy was authored by The Perfesser's favorite book reviewer and beard #4, Natsu Nancy Elaine Taylor "Truthforce" Saito.

Update: $55.00?!!11!

Update II: Book jacket blurborama! (it should come as no surprise that one of Truthforce's blurblers, Sharon H. Venne, was co-editor with Ward Churchill on Islands In Captivity and signatory to the retaliatory complaint filed against CU for having the temerity to investigate Churchill's various fabulisms, frauds, and thefts. It really is a small world. Who wouldn't want to oppress it?)

Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc

2010-03-10T21:34:00-05:00

PB announces formation of the Morlock Party

This comment

"We're all just Morlocks to their Eloi. Problem is, we (OK, I) never get to eat any of them."

by WTP over at the inestimably wonderful blog of David Thompson got us to thinking. The Eloi WTP is talking about, of course, are the artists who believe they are entitled to the support of the government, meaning the support of the taxpayers. To that group we'd add pretty much anyone at the public trough not in uniform.

Back to WTP's "we never get to eat them" lament. We of the newly-founded Morlock Party respond: Why the hell not? The Morlocks and the Eloi had a very workable symbiotic relationship; the Eloi were fed, nurtured, housed and clothed by the Morlocks, and in return, the Eloi (useless for anything else) fed the Morlocks. Quid pro quo.

Of course, that was a fictional future. Back here in the nonfictional present, unfortunately, there's been mucho quid, but nary a hint of tasty quo.

The formation of the Morlock Party rectifies this historical inequality. With our pithy, no-nonsense motto "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc" we announce to the world that we're at long last finished perusing the menu, and are now ready to order.

A productive use for entire university departments and hundreds of governmental agencies—not to mention the states of Massachusetts and California—has finally been discovered, thanks to the Morlock Party.

Robert A. Heinlein said it best: "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch." Morlocks know this, and are now prepared to savor the sweet sweet poetic justice of demonstrating Heinlein's maxim to those who believe otherwise.

Yes, given enough time, Atlas may shrug. Meanwhile, Morlocks will dine.

Update: Who wants another helping of schadenfreude con carne?

Update II: Morlock Party Official Logo:

CNews 27February10

2010-03-02T19:44:00-05:00

Over in the comments at DrunkaSnoozinNLosin, Wm T Sherman finds a particularly whiney nest of academic tapeworms. The Gen'r'l takes us through the academic alimentary canal step by squishy step:

We're having a PC situation at the local U.C. campus.
"Compton Cookout:"
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/feb/19/tv-show-incenses-black-students-ucsd/

Offices 'stormed' after noose found in library:
http://www.10news.com/news/22682950/detail.html

List of demands (in 6 point font):
http://www.newuniversity.org/2010/02/opinion/black-student-union-statement-february-2010-ucsd-black-student-union-address-state-of-emergency/

Rather than insist on counseling, suspension, or both for the specific idiots involved, the black student union at UCSD has issued demands (the Gen'r'l notes later) that "Chancellor Fox and the Vice Chancellor of Academic Affairs, and the Academic Senate mandate a diversity sensitivity requirement for every undergraduate student to take an African-American studies, Ethnic Studies, and Gender Studies before they graduate from UC San Diego." Yeah, that'll work.

Update: As despicable an act as hanging a noose in the university library is, it is as much "free speech" as burning a US flag, dropping a crucifix in a jar of urine, or referring to innocent terrorism victims as "little Eichmanns." Incidentally, given the suspicious nature of some "hate crimes" on college campuses, it seems odd that UCSD and the local police have not released the name or race of the female student who reportedly confessed to hanging the noose.

Update II: An anonymous letter allegedly written by the student who hung the noose in the UCSD library has been circulating on that campus for the past few days (ht Wm T Sherman). The author claims she is a minority student who simply hung the noose a friend tied above her desk, and forgot to take it down. If we had a dime for every time that's happened to us....

CNews 25February10

2010-02-25T23:22:00-05:00

Given The Perfesser's dual proclivities for historical fabulism and ghost-writing, we think we may have discovered how he's financing his appeal: Ward Churchill Essays and Term Papers. Maybe he'll even generate enough revenue to pay CU that $52K in legal costs.

One of our many jackbooted thugs turns out to be a legal wonk of sorts, and gives us a basic overview of the Churchill appeal process: First off, it won't be about the First Amendment, or The Perfesser's academic freedom, or his historical veracity, or his freedom of speech, or even about that "eagle" feather he used as a prop during his testimony; sez wonk: "This is no do-over." The appeal is all about whether District Court judge Larry J. Naves made a legal error (or errors) in his ruling to vacate the jury's verdict and put Churchill out on the street. The appeal, by the way, will be heard by a three-judge panel (which three won't even be known until the briefs are all finished floating in).

Finally, some real news over at coloradoaim:

Russell Means Freedom

“An upside down flag is an international signal of distress… now we, the Indian nations, are in distress. I will wear this flag upside down as long as my people are in distress!” Russell Means. Oglala Lakota patriot

So, Russ: Does that mean the Japanese are not in distress, or that they are always in distress? BTW: An upside-down US flag is an American's plea for help from other Americans. Since Russ is the Chief Facilitator for some other country, why would he assume Americans would pay any attention to him? We mean, despite his obvious value as comic relief, that is. PS, Russ: Love the watch. Nice touch.

CNews 24February10

2010-02-24T21:57:00-05:00

In our comments, Klaymore reports the discovery of BAMN ("Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action, Integration, and Immigrant Rights and Fight for Equality By Any Means Necessary"), a group that wants to overturn California's Proposition 209, which in 1996 amended the state's constitution (text here) to prohibit affirmative action and racial quotas in the state's public institutions, including its colleges and universities. What's interesting is that BAMN is certain that somehow, with just a few words added to the state's constitution, California managed to create a legal magic bullet that selectively discriminates against Native Americans, Latinos, and blacks while discriminating for whites and Asians.

Think we're kidding?

Excerpt:

Proposition 209 intentionally discriminates against Latina/o, black and Native American applicants in three separate, but interrelated ways.

First, Proposition 209 prohibits the University from pursuing racial diversity and integration even though the University may continue to pursue every other form of diversity and integration.

Second, Proposition 209 has prohibited the University from considering racial inequality in education in the same way that it considers other, lesser forms of inequality in education.

Third, Proposition 209 explicitly aimed at driving down and holding down the numbers of racially-defined groups of students and applicants by forcing the University to apply its normal admission criteria in ways that capture and magnify the racial segregation and inequality in elementary and secondary education.

The racial target of 209 is explicit: the only supposedly underqualified applicants it targets are those who are Latina/o, black, or Native American.

Here's the text of the amendment to the state's constitution again. Everybody see the clause that explicitly targets Latino, black, and Native American students? Good. Never mind that this complaint, allegedly filed a week ago in US District Court, reads like something written by students admitted to law school to satisfy an affirmative action quota. Here's a thought: Could it be that the discrimination is not racial at all, but socially cultural? That somehow, students from social cultures that prize scholarship and hard work will prevail where students from social cultures that prize perpetual victimhood entitlement will not?

Every long journey requires a first step, however modest (via Ace of Spades)

CNews 22February10

2010-02-22T20:37:00-05:00

Westwad's Michael Roberts continues to publish ~~Professor~~ Ward Churchill's press releases under his own byline.
Excerpt:

What are the grounds of the [Churchill] appeal?

"We won the jury trial, but then the judge tossed it and gave it to CU -- and he gave the university's regents immunity," [Churchill legal sock-puppet David] Lane says. "We're arguing that the judge shouldn't have done that. It's very important that the regents be held accountable when they violated an amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

"Tenure means nothing anymore if the regents are never going to be held accountable for constitutional violations."

As for those repercussions, Lane believes they're already being felt.

The decision "has already had the effect of causing people to think long and hard before they every [sic] open their mouths about any controversial issues," he argues.

Funny... we thought it was always a good idea to think long and hard before opening your mouth. Frankly, it's surprising that Lane is still representing Churchill, what with his amateurish lawyering during Teh Trial (Lane may be the new Johnnie Cochran of courtroom histrionics, but he was easily and embarrassingly outmaneuvered by CU defense attorney Patrick O'Rourke on the immunity issue—no doubt the reason real attorneys are handling Churchill's appeal, and Lane has been demoted to PR flak).

What PB post would be truly complete without a ht to Leah? Today's tip to her requires at least a sombrero: The Perfesser offers praise for Pike, the book his dog, Benjie, wrote:

“Without so much as a sideways glance towards gentility, Pike is one righteous mutherfucker of a read. I move that we put Whitmer’s balls in a vise and keep slowly notching up the torque until he’s willing to divulge the secret of how he managed to hit such a perfect stride his first time out of the blocks.”
--Ward Churchill

Fucked with wood rasps, balls in vices—what is it about these two that makes us suspect they have matching gimp suits?

Update: $15.95 for a frigging paperback?

Update II: jgm of DrunkaSomethingSomethingSomething fame notes in our comments that Benjie promised him a copy of Pike when it was published. Good luck with that, John.

CNews 20February10

2010-02-20T13:09:00-05:00

The filed version of the National Lawyers Guild amicus brief has been posted on wardchurchill.net (since DBAB websites have a habit of disappearing without notice, we've taken the liberty of copying it here) (ht Leah, who notes that signatory English professor Eric Cheyfitz is grouped with "Law Professors and Attorneys" in the brief; apparently the "Fatuous Windbags and Contemptible Frauds" group was already full)

We notice that law professor Robert Williams is on the list; longtime PB readers will recall Williams was an original member of The Five Stooges but quickly faded over the horizon when it was revealed that he had spent the past few years citing The Perfesser's bogus history and generally lavishing praise on The Perfesser whenever afforded the opportunity.

For newcomers to PirateBallerina, we offer an updated "Guide to PirateBallerina's Churchilliana." You can also click on the various titles under our "Essays & Articles" list on the lefthand side of this page for a good overview of what we consider some of our best work.

CNews 19February10 - The Sequel

2010-02-20T11:01:00-05:00

Speak of the debbil, The Perfesser's new appellate mouthpiece, Antony M. Noble, filed Churchill's Opening Brief (pdf, 374k) freshly minted just yesterday. (courtesy anonymous benefactor)
The brief has three arguments:

I. The trial court erred by granting the University’s motion for a directed verdict as to the first claim for relief because Professor Churchill presented ample evidence at trial for the jury to determine that the investigation into his writings and public speeches was an adverse employment action.
[...]
II. The trial court erred in granting the University’s motion for judgment as a matter of law based on quasi-judicial immunity because the Regents did not act in a judicial capacity as they pre-judged the case based on their own political viewpoints and political pressure.
[...]
III. The trial court erred by denying Professor Churchill’s motion for reinstatement of employment because reinstatement, which is the preferred remedy, is supported by the jury’s verdict and would have alleviated the chilling effect of the University’s First Amendment violation.

We'll leave it as an exercise for the attorneys among us to determine how well Noble handles each. One other thing occurs to us: Where's The Perfesser getting the bucks to hire such high-octane legal talent? He's already hit up his dune buggy attack battalion for money to pay for a $50k trial transcript; it's a cinch the french-frying legion from which the DBAB earns its daily tofu doesn't offer enough overtime for them to pay for this, as well. So... really, how many mortgages can Churchill's remodeled two-story carry? In this market? In this economy? Please tell us this isn't our Stimulus dollars at work....

[this post was originally Update II to today's first post, but we felt the importance of this brief necessitated its own comment thread. -ed.]

Update (20February10): The Daily Camera reports this morning that David Lane brought in other attorneys with more appellate expertise and more time to devote to the case. "We're all a team," Lane told the Camera.

CNews 19February10

2010-02-19T21:26:00-05:00

Yet another amicus brief has been filed on ~~Professor~~ ~~Doctor~~ ~~Indian~~ ~~Scholar~~ Ward Churchill's behalf, this time by a coalition comprising the American Association of University Professors, the ACLU, and something called the National Coalition Against Censorship. Unlike the NLG amicus brief we noted in an earlier post, this brief appears to have been written by actual attorneys, who make some sturdy arguments—particularly against Superior Court judge Larry Naves' granting quasi-judicial immunity to CU's Board of Regents in their firing of Churchill.

Update: The ever-vigilant Leah points out in comments that we missed the most interesting tidbit of this new amicus brief: The Certificate of Service (or, more succinctly, what's missing from the Certificate of Service). Sez Leah:

The last page is the "certificate of service", which indicates that lawyers for the plaintiff and defendant have received copies. Lane's name is not on this list. Besides O'Rourke, two other lawyers are listed: Antony M. Noble and Thomas K. Carberry.

Noble is a Colorado appellate attorney and knows a little something about qualified immunity, having argued two recent cases ([link]). Carberry is a high powered criminal defense attorney (enough said).

It finally looks like Churchill is actually paying for competent legal representation, instead of using David "I am so desperate for attention, I will represent Balloon Dad" Lane for the appeal.

...and another PB correspondent points out to us that it's odd that Lane didn't even sign on to the brief, something we hear is pretty common practice. What are The Perfesser's new cochrans trying to hide (besides the obvious shame of sharing the same profession with such a posturing, incompetent, balloon-chasing clown)?

Update III: Commenter Aaron directs our attention to an article in The Chronicle of Higher Education about the AAUP's role in this amicus brief. Virtually all the commenters there whip AAUP like a rented mule.