Genociding Ward Churchill for over a 20th of a century

CNews 29March08

With only a handful of citizens, one would think the Republic of Lakotah would take longer to experience schisms. One would be wrong (ht PB reader Fred).
Excerpt (all formatting from original):

Caution: Duane Martin, Sr. aka "Canupa Gluha Mani" represents ONLY himself and is known for soliciting funds for himself. He is not affiliated with Republic of Lakotah.

CNews 28March08

PB Exclusive: Degrees In Whiner Studies Now Offered

PirateBallerina University & Grill
'Semper ubi sub ubi'

School of Whiner Studies

PirateBallerina University & Grill is now offering four-year as well as advanced degrees in Whiner Studies. Qualified applicants must have completed a minimum of two years of Extemporaneous Whining (either as an member of a recognized protest movement or as a member (real or imagined) of a recognizable minority—special consideration, however, will be given to individuals who have money).

Representative courses include:

• Reality 1A: Life Sucks; Get a Helmet
• Reality 293: You Are Not Important To Others
• Hold Out Both Hands: The Sad Truth About Your Demands
• Spelling & Grammar (required course; must be retaken every enrolled semester)

• Advanced Reality 1: Shutting The Fuck Up
• Advanced Reality 5a: Mock Me! Mock Me!: What Is Agenda-Driven Art Trying To Say?
• Get It Yourself
  
• A Beginner's Guide to Accepting Responsibility For Your Own Actions
  (sorry, only honors students who have demonstrated an advanced grasp of reality may take this course)
• Gender-Specific Responses To The Oppression of Transgendered Latino/a Wymyn Empowerment (just kidding)

• Independent Study: "Nobody Cares"
• Independent Study: "Really. Nobody Cares."
  

A Job Fair will be held throughout the semester, where our drop-outs can expect representatives from top organizations such as McDonald's, Blockbuster Video, Hooters, and the Federal Government to compete vigorously for their services.

CNews 27March08

From our Compare And Contrast department: Higher Education In Minnesota (via Drunka, who has more)

CNews 21March08

Courtesy Zorro (ht and @sspats be upon him): "Dr. Ward Churchill, genocide scholar," will be among the guests at the 15th annual Indigenous Nations and Dakota Studies Spring Conference, to be held April 2-4 on the campus of Southwest Minnesota State University. The Perfesser's good buddy Dr. Chris Mato Nunpa appears to be the organizer.

Update: Is Munchkin City missing its mayor?

CNews 20March08

An interesting look at what drives Ethnic Studies, and beyond it, racial politics: Obama's Anger
Excerpt:

Remember Ward Churchill? About fifteen years ago he was my boss. After leaving the fishing boats, I attended graduate school at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I managed to get a job on campus teaching expository writing to minority students who had been accepted provisionally into the university on an affirmative action program. And although I never met him, Ward Churchill, in addition to teaching in the ethnic studies department, helped to develop and organize the minority writing program.

The job paid most of my bills, but what I witnessed there was absolutely horrifying. The students were encouraged to write essays attacking the white establishment from every conceivable angle and in addition to defend affirmative action and other government programs. Of the hundreds of papers that I read, there was not one original contribution to the problem of black mobility that strayed from the party line.

The irony of it all however is that the "white establishment" managed to get them into the college and pay their entire tuition. Instead of being encouraged to study international affairs, classical or modern languages, philosophy or art, most of these students became ethnic studies or sociology majors because it allowed them to remain in disciplines whose orientation justified their existence at the university. In short, it became a vicious cycle.

CNews 19March08

Courtesy PB reader Fred (@sspats be upon him!): Ward Churchill sock-puppet and cartoon voice-over artist Russell Means is running for President of the Pine Ridge Sioux Indian Nation (the page has no fewer than five (count 'em, 5!) "contribute" buttons)
Excerpt:

• Russell Means working with all Governments; Tribal, City, County, State, and Federal!
• Russell Means no Confrontations!
• Russell Means the return of the Black Hills National Forest to Lakotah!
• Russell Means the return [of the] National Grasslands to Lakotah!

RUSSELL MEANS FREEDOM!!!

Isn't that clever. Here's another one: Russell Means never having to say you're full of shit. Another: Russell Means working white guilt for personal gain. Hey, this is too easy: Russell Means getting old with no commensurate increases in intelligence, wisdom, and integrity.

As Fred notes, Means is running on the business development, immersion education, and free electricity for everyone ticket. So vote early, and vote often. And contribute, dammit. That electricity isn't going to free itself.

Okay, one more: Russell Means always having a fat, myopic, ignorant has-been to mock.

CNews 18March08

From our Great Political Thinkers Of The 21st Century department: Cindy "My son got wacked and all I got was this crummy tee-shirt" Sheehan checks in with her views on the Rev. Jeremiah Wright debacle with the appropriately deliciously titled "Chickens Of Our Own Making" (ht Klaymore for the adverbial assistance)
Excerpt:

As a nation, we need to pull together and denounce the policies of our government, which were the cause of 9/11. We need to apologize for the gory excesses of BushCo and we must learn how to conserve and cut-back on our own consumeristic orgies to give the rest of the world some creature comforts that are basic human rights. We need to call our "chickens" back home to peacefully roost before they roost again in violence.

You can't make this stuff up.

Update (from our Sweet Sweet Synchronicity department): Drunkablog links to Zombie's excellent pictorial of the latest anti-war protest in Kolly-Fornya, and discovers a shot of Cindy "Bluto" Sheehan demonstrating her solidarity with her brethren and cistern.

That's Cindy massaging her scalp, no doubt in a last-ditch attempt to encourage the resumption of circulation to necrotic (albeit, in her case, already vestigial) organs.

CNews 15March08

CNews 13March08

“We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye,” Rev. [Jeremiah] Wright said in a sermon on Sept. 16, 2001.

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America’s chickens are coming home to roost,” he told his congregation.

CNews 12March08

From our Finally, A Great Place To Raise The Idiots, Er, Kids department: Adams County is doing away with grades
Excerpt:

District administrators says the new system will focus on students' competence, rather than achievement for grades.

CNews 10March08

From our And What's Not To Love About Communism department: A bill has been introduced in the California legislature that would legalize the teaching of communism, and repeal any laws prohibiting same. (via boortz.com)
Excerpt:

This bill would delete provisions that prohibit a teacher giving instruction in a school or on property belonging to an agency included in the public school system from teaching communism with the intent to indoctrinate or to inculcate in the mind of any pupil a preference for communism. The bill would also delete provisions that a teacher may be dismissed from employment if he or she teaches communism in that way.

CNews 3March08