Now that Ward Churchill has—for all intents and purposes—been dismissed from his years-long strutting and fretting across the national stage, it's time to turn our attention to a subject we once touched upon: The Morlock Party. If the Party's motto ("Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc") does not hint rather strongly at our core beliefs, then please visit our original post way back in March 2010 for a run-down. We'll wait.
All caught up now? Good. According to statistics gathered as recently as 2008, nearly 53% of registered voters in the US (probably less once illegal aliens and the dead are removed from the count) self-identified as Eloi, i.e., irrational, mewling dolts proudly unqualified for self-preservation and completely unsuited for anything more productive than providing a laugh-track for Honey Boo Boo.
In short, Eloi are those for whom others are required to provide food, clothing, shelter, and—as we've learned most recently—contraception. The original Morlocks performed this service willingly for the original Eloi (with the exception of the contraceptives, perhaps) because of an unwritten, yet ironclad, quid pro quo. The Morlocks gave much of value to the Eloi, and in return, the Eloi gave back that one item of value they possessed: Their corporeal selves. Recap: To the Eloi, the Morlocks were generous. To the Morlocks, the Eloi were delicious.
Are you a Morlock? Take this simple True or False quiz:
- In addition to providing for myself and my family, I am required to give some portion of what I earn to strangers.
- I have derived nothing of value from this.
Remember: Atlas may shrug. Meanwhile, Morlocks will dine.
Menu Suggestions for Election Night:
- Debbie Wasserman Schultz-on-a shingle
- Schadenfreude Con Carne
- Grilled Holder on Toast
- Barney Frankfurters
- Spotted Dick Durbin
- Raul Grijalva-Cheese Sandwiches